You Should Talk About the Things You Don’t Want to Talk About

Sometimes I won’t be able to properly understand something until I talk about it out loud. You gain something from saying things out loud. This can be as simple as finding a typo you missed by reading out loud, or as complex as understanding the cause of how you feel about a certain situation. Thinking about something that’s bothering you, even if you come to a confident conclusion on how to get around a difficult situation, isn’t good enough. Talking out loud forces you to think on the spot, in the moment, and that brings with it new avenues of thought that may not have been obvious when you thought carefully about it.

The rule that I live by, or at least try to live by is if I’m reluctant to talk about something it is usually a good indicator that I should definitely talk about it. This may be some trivial thing that I’m too lazy to bring up, or it could be something with a lot more weight. If you’re reluctant to tell someone you’re not feeling great, or that you’re low then you should do your best to force yourself to talk about it. If you’re reluctant to tell your partner you no longer have feelings for them, then you should force yourself to say it. You do nobody any favours by avoiding something which you know you should really talk about.

This isn’t the same being reluctant to talk about universally difficult things. Of course nobody wants to talk about something that is unproductive and avoidable. For example, most of us will be reluctant to talk about sex with our parents, and rightly so. What I mean here is, force yourself to talk about issues which you know you would benefit from if you had the wherewithal to talk about them. If it’s a subject which you would hope your best friend would talk to you about if they needed to, then you absolutely need to force yourself to chat about it with someone.

This is easier said than done, especially if you’re going through the ringer. But it’s an essential note to keep if find yourself in that situation and aren’t sure of your next step. If the problem is weighing on you so heavily that it feels like you’ll never be able to tell anyone, that is the biggest sign that you should get that thing off your chest. I don’t believe that a problem shared is a problem halved, but it certainly lessens the loads. This may all seem obvious to you, and if it is good. I reckon it would have been sound advice for myself though.

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