And So This Is Christmas

And So This Is Christmas

This blog is a labour of love, and it will always be free. Over 1,000 people read every post which is incredible. And if just 100 people donate €2 it means that I’ll be able to continue doing all of this for another year. So if you like the work, it would mean the world to me if you considered making a donation. Thank you to everyone who already has this year. There’s no expectations, as ever, and I hope you have a lovely week. Donate here

There is also now a Thoughts Too Loud Podcast!

And what have we done?

There’s a pressure around this time of year to summarise the last 12-months based on what you achieved. It’s everywhere. Indulgent summaries seasoned with humble-brag. Christmas and the end of the calendar year brings out this validation-seeking side in all of us. What did I do this year? Am I worthy? Have I done enough as everyone else? We use these things to validate ourselves, to find where we rank among our peers.

But is it healthy?

I don’t think so. Giving in to this pressure confirms a subconscious belief that our value is centred on achievements. Because we can all list off the things we’ve done this year, the cool shit that happened, the milestones reached. But what does this serve? I’m not saying we shouldn’t be proud of ourselves. We should be, I just wonder why we need an audience to do this. My belief is that achievements are to be celebrated with loved ones, behind closed doors. I don’t need to write a list and post it online to be content with what I’ve done. And I would encourage anyone who does to enquire as to what unmet need is causing this desire.

Because if we only do things to show to other people, where is the motivation for doing it located. Is it internal, coming from a place of ambition and discipline, or is the locus external, motivated by the eyes of other people?

By all means though, do the things you want to do. Post the highlights. Share the achievements. I would just say to ask yourself where the intention is – are you doing it for yourself or for other people? Because if we only achieve to impress those around us, we’ll never be happy. You can have all the achievements in the world and still be miserable. And my theory is that this is because the motivation for doing things comes from outside of ourselves.

I hope you all have a gorgeous Christmas. And if you don’t, that’s okay too. This time of year isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. IT’s just a day like any other. Don’t put yourself under the societal pressure. Christmas doesn’t have to be a big, eventful undertaking. It can be quiet too. Sometimes the best things are.