Dealing with The Good

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Dealing with The Good

This blog, for the most part, has dealt with the negative aspects of mental health. And with good reason. These are the aspects we struggle most obviously with, and so talking about them openly has been a way to let you guys know that you’re not alone. Because we all struggle at times. So this space will always aspire to make you feel less alone.

However, there are good aspects of mental health. We can be happy, fulfilled – thriving, even. And we all do this at times too. The thing is, if you’re anything like me, you might struggle with this, too.

Sometimes, I tell myself that I don’t yet deserve happiness. I am not good enough to deserve it. And so, when happiness does roll around, I jump past it. I rush through it. I make myself feel guilty for feeling happy, and I refuse to be present and allow this emotion to remain. When my mental health is good, I can sometime sabotage it by thinking this way.

This takes many forms. Imposter Syndrome is an obvious one – when good things are happening but we don’t feel we deserve them. But it can also simply be not being present, or achieving something and moving immediately onto the next task at hand. Not taking a moment to appreciate how far I’ve come is something I’ve often done. And to me, this points to the possibility that, somewhere inside me, is a part of me who feels guilty for being happy.

The Good in life is nothing to feel guilt for. I know this. The internet, the modern era, tends to tell us the opposite. That we should feel a certain amount of guilt for The Good we have because other people do not have it.

I understand this argument. I do not agree with it, consciously.

But I think a sub-conscious part of me sometimes does. I think it believes that I have to be miserable until a point in time where everyone else is happy. This is a point that does not exact, a harsh truth of reality. And so, it serves no purpose other than to limit my own wellbeing. Not accepting when our mental health is good, and celebrating it, ensures that our default reality is one rife with anxiety, and foul mood, and never feeling good enough.

I do not wish for this to be my default reality. I do not wish it to be yours either.

So when The Good arrives, and sometimes it takes a long time – Accept it. Cherish it. Hold onto it.

But don’t under any circumstances, feel bad about feeling good. It helps no one.

If you enjoy my writing and want to read more of my thoughts beyond the scope of mentla health, I now have a Substack that you can subscribe to here

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