How You Make Others Feel

How You Make Others Feel

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We have a distinct power. We can influence how other people feel, while being aware of it. Other animals can influence how other animals feel too, but there isn’t a conscious element. There is no intention. Just instinct. We can influence people by choice. And this is quite powerful.

This is used for good and for bad. The power itself is amoral – how it’s used dictates the morality. We can make people feel good so easily. We can offer encouragement, gratitude, love without much cost. It’s mad that we can alter people’s brain chemistry with words and actions. It’s the best thing we do, connecting with people and changing how the feel for the better.

But we can also change their emotions in the opposite direction. And this might be easier today than ever. With social media, a single negative comment can ruin a person’s day. Due to our brain’s negativity bias, we tend to put more value on negative rather than positive experiences. So, if ten people say positive things but only one says a negative thing, the negative comment will take the majority of our attention. Our words have a lot of power.

We can exclude, ostracize, ignore, ghost, block. There are a thousand ways to thoughtlessly make people feel bad. We don’t always do this intentionally. We don’t always think about how our actions make other people feel. But there are people, so they will feel. And while we may be too focused on ourselves to consider how we’re making others feel, the reality is that our actions and behaviours affect the people around us all day of every day.

And so, there’s a lot of responsibility that comes with that. We’re not responsible for the emotions of other people, but we do have an impact on them. And in the same way that we should be aware of how we are all impacting the environment and planet, I think the right thing to do is to be aware of how we affect the emotions of others. Because something that is insignificant to you may impact someone else in a big way.