I Love It

This blog is a labour of love, and it will always be free. Thousands of people read every post which is incredible. And if just 100 people donate €2 it means that I’ll be able to continue doing all of this for another year. So if you like the work, it would mean the world to me if you considered making a donation. Thank you to everyone who already has this year. There’s no expectations, as ever, and I hope you have a lovely week. Donate here

There is also now a Thoughts Too Loud Podcast!

Full disclosure. I opened my laptop and searched for something I could repurpose for today’s post. I didn’t feel there was anything to write about. But I still felt that I should post something. And that’s pressure, that’s obligation. That’s doing something for an external reason. Which isn’t good.

I’m feeling overwhelmed today. A true statement. It feels like the next few weeks are faster than I am. Stronger, able to destroy me. It may not be real, but it’s what it feels like today. So I’m trying to go gentle, but it’s hard to go that way when everything feels like it could burst you. So instead I’m trying to remind myself that if none of it happens, it won’t be such a big deal. It is not life or death. It is simply life. And sometimes we are better off stepping back from life for a moment, just to catch our breath. The world will continue on anyway. We can re-join it when we’re good and ready.

I love it when the thing comes at the wrong moment. I love it when there is nothing in me to write when I am ready and sitting. Rather, it floats into my brain as I’m drifting off to sleep and I have to coax myself awake to jot it down, because the last ten times this happened I convinced myself I’d remember and I never ever have.

I love when it arrives, spurred on by a great conversation with a friend, or when the birds catch me watching them, or a piece of music says, here you go now, or the universe just drops it into your lap when you’re a hungover half-kebab, and suddenly the day doesn’t feel wasted because there was something to write. I love that.

And I also love that I was gonna phone this post in because I didn’t think there was anything to say, to write, create. But there always is. Sometimes you just need to change the angle. Sometimes you just need to say the thing that was scaring you to say.