A Well Needed Break
About a month ago I had a panic attack for the first time in 3 years. I was overwhelmed, biting off more than I could chew. There was so much pressure on me to perform. This pressure mainly, as always, came from within. but it was real and it was there. I needed a break. So I took one.
For the last two weeks I’ve spent almost no time on social media. I haven’t been writing, haven’t been putting myself under pressure. It felt uncomfortable because I’m someone who feels they have to constantly be ‘productive’. But I resisted this urge and allowed myself to be present, to enjoy the time I was spending with other people, and rest.
Spending less time online radically reduced the frequency of anxiety, and so this is something I’ll be doing more often. Which means I won’t be popping up on your feed as often (Probably a good thing). Secondly, the break allowed me to reflect on where I am and where I want to be. I’ve been running around, staying busy for the last few years. I haven’t taken a moment to question whether how I’m living now is how I actually want to live. It became clear that some things do need to change. So I’ll work on making those changes from here.
Overall, there was something I needed – taking a break – which I was ignoring, kicking the can down the road. As I always say, a lot of the time mental health care is doing the things you don’t want to do. I didn’t want to take a break, but I needed it. I’ve probably needed it for quite a long time. Eventually I allowed myself to take some time out, and I feel much better for it, I’m under less pressure. I feel less stressed.
So, I suppose, today’s blog is your sign to do what you need, not what you want. Sometimes we need to go to the dentist, but we may not want to go. Other times we need to step back, drop all the tools and just be. The world we live in discourages stillness, but sometimes stillness is exactly what we need in order to keep moving forward.
I also have a Substack if you’d like to read more.