No Data For Blood Pigeons
No Data For Blood Pigeons
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I returned to Barcelona last week. For a friend’s birthday. It was my first holiday in three years, save for a weekend here and there.
Mostly though, my days off are never days off. I’m on social media, checking and replying to emails. There’s a sense that when you are a creative you always need to be working, that the world might forget you if you aren’t. So on my days off my phone is always with me – my portal to access, to opportunity, to potential.
So in Barcelona something terrible and wonderful happened.
My data stopped working. I had no access save for places where I had wifi, and since I was mostly with people in places I had wifi I was rarely on my phone (I have a rule that I’m not allowed on my phone if there is a real person with me).
My screen time plummeted. Six and Seven hour daily screen time numbers reduced to less than hour each day. At first I was anxious, afraid that I might miss something, that I might not see some opportunity as it passed by. But soon, the anxiety changed to something else. Even when I could log into my various apps , I didn’t want to. My brain didn’t want to open itself up to comparison, anxious thought, stress. I had no desire to connect back in. When I had data I’d check my phone every few minutes, but now I didn’t want it at all.
The switch was unexpected. I always thought I’d feel lost without my phone. But the reality is, I lose out on so much from being on it so often. Once the initial cravings dissipated I realised I didn’t need it. I didn’t have to be so readily available.
And while I did miss some DMs from friends and things I was tagged in, it didn’t change a whole lot. Things tipped away, my career still in tact. And I was able to be present enough to notice pigeons with red eyes drinking water from a hot tub. And that was nice.