It Doesn’t All Have To Happen Today
This blog is a labour of love, and it will always be free. Over 1,000 people read every post which is incredible. And if just 100 people donate €2 it means that I’ll be able to continue doing all of this for another year. So if you like the work, it would mean the world to me if you considered making a donation. Thank you to everyone who already has this year. There’s no expectations, as ever, and I hope you have a lovely week. Donate here
There is also now a Thoughts Too Loud Podcast!
It doesn’t all have to happen today.
This has become something of a mantra in my life. I repeat it over and over again, when overwhelm hits, when my mind is reaching escape velocity. When then pressure is getting so intense that I begin to freeze. I tell myself this. It doesn’t all have to happen today. Because it doesn’t, and it shouldn’t.
It usually goes like this. Someone on the internet (known to me or not) achieves something I want to achieve. And I am happy for them. Truly. But I also start to feel pressure. Now I am falling behind. Now I am suddenly failing because of this new information. Which isn’t true, but try telling an emotional brain to calm down – no one likes that.
This pressure floods my body with cortisol. I am now stressed because I have a sudden urge/desire/compulsion to catch up. I need to get to where they are as soon as possible. And because we live in a world of instant gratification, I want this to happen today, despite these things usually taking years if not months to achieve.
This causes a conflicting dissonance then. I want something now that is impossible to have now. I feel (in the moment) that I will be unhappy and stressed until I get the thing I want. Which means I’m set up to be miserable for several months, and possibly years.
And this obviously isn’t very good. This is an irrational reaction that wouldn’t exist if I could swing around comparing myself to people online. Because I’m running my own race, doing my own thing. The achievements of others shouldn’t even really be on my mind, but they are because… internet.
And so this is why I remind myself so often that it doesn’t all have to happen today. Because it can’t, despite my brain’s weird desire for it to. I have to be patient. Relax a bit. Enjoy the process rather than focusing on the outcomes. I don’t get this right all the time. But it’s a good thing to aim for. It doesn’t all have to happen today – so chill the fuck out, kid.