On Distraction
On Distraction
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I used to be better at this.
I used to come into this space and be direct and honest. The work in mental health was the most important thing I did – everything else came second.
At some point, that changed. Or more accurately, I did. It’s not that the work in mental health stopped being important. Rather, other things became as important.
Some of these things are worthy of their status. My own mental health, for example, or writing. The former I have often neglected in order to do this work. The former is the one thing in my life that never falters, the one thing in my life that gives me purpose.
But there are other less honorable distraction that have caused me to stop focusing on this work. I have shown up in body but not in spirit. The largest of these distractions is the self, the ego. The part of me that want to be someone, to be known for the work I do.
The simple irony in that is this desire causes great distraction, taking me away from the work. And so I live as a person who want to be known for work they’re not really doing. A dream made of glass.
But now I want to get back to it.
And what does that mean? It means that I’ll be back on my bullshit. Talking about issues that matter rather than posting another silly joke on a Friday afternoon. Which means I’ll b vulnerable again to the opinions of others. Maybe that’s part of the reason I turned away so gradually. Because when you talk about mental health publicly, people often have something to say about it.
Still, I think it’s important to do. It’s more important than how I or anyone else feels. Because in the last few weeks alone I have heard of several people attempting to take their own lives. I’ve been at this for over a decade. And still we are failing people who need help the most. And I’m tired of it.