A Day Devoid of Purpose

Happy New Year!

I don’t put much weight and pressure on the new year. It serves no purpose for me. I don’t think it makes any sense. Nor do I believe that huge goals and aspirations and all the rest are required on a specific day of the year. It feels very false and empty and superficial to me. So although it’s a new year, it’s business as usual here.

I personally dislike this time of year – namely the week between Christmas Day and the new year. In these days it’s difficult to know what to do with yourself. It’s a time between years, between work, and growth, and purpose. I find this week in particular quite challenging mentally. It’s harder to keep a routine and there’s often no obvious thing to do with your time.

These days, for me, are devoid of purpose. And I’ve realised that in order to be mentally balanced I need purpose. I need something to aim at. When I don’t, I begin to falter. Last week I Felt extremely lonely. There were days where I saw no one else, sitting at home reading and wondering what to do. I languished, I felt sad. I didn’t feel like exercising. In these days I couldn’t wait until my normal routine returned. I couldn’t wait until purpose returned.

These days are difficult, but they’re important. They’re very important. They let me know the parts of my life that are necessary for me to feel good. And what I need is purpose. But I also need friends and to feel wanted. I need people. I need structure to a point, but not so much that I feel boxed in.

It isn’t great that I spent the final week of 2022 feeling this way, but I didn’t deny to myself that I was feeling this way, either. I accepted it. I allowed myself to feel the loneliness, and the sense of being lost, and eventually it passed.

And maybe this is the best way to have started this year – finding out what I need to feel good.

And what I need is purpose. That’s very clear now.

Do you know what you need?