Not All Fun and Games
Not All Fun and Games
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Often, when I meet new people, they tell me that I’m lucky to be working in a creative field. Being able to create every day is a privilege. It is something I’m deeply grateful for.
But it’s not all fun and games. I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining, because I’m, not, but for as much good there is, there’s also a lot of bad.
While I very much enjoying having the time and freedom to write about things I want to write about, there is so much challenge involved. There is no job security, there’s very little money, there’s a constant urge to compare yourself, there’s a constant feeling that you’re not doing enough.
The publishing industry is an industry. It churns on money and attention like any other entertainment business. As such, it’s often cutthroat and unforgiving. All of this wains on mental health. All of this causes stress and insecurity. I’ve had a strain across my shoulders for a good three weeks now, due to stress, due to choosing to live like this.
And that’s an important point – I am choosing this – so I’m not complaining.
But what I am saying is this; we only post highlights. We only tell people when good things happen. But behind every piece of publication news or success, there is a litany of failure, rejection, pain. It’s so volatile and distorted and up and down. Holding onto some form of confidence throughout all of it is an achievement in itself.
So, while I am grateful to be able to create everyday, it’s no easy gig. It’s terribly fucking hard. And at the moment it feels incredibly so. At the moment it feels like I’m lost, am falling behind, am choking. This is true, and it will pass, but right now it sucks.