Accepting Help

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I can’t roll cigarettes. I don’t smoke them so I suppose it makes sense that I can’t roll them. But it seems like a skillset I should have.

I can put together a flatpack. For the most part without too much hassle. But I can’t make things. I can’t make a table from scratch, for example. When it comes to handy things I approach my father or brother for advice. This is their domain. I help how and when I can when they come to fix the problems I can’t.

They help me to chicken-wire the back gate so the dog can’t get out. They come up with solutions for problems that are only ever problems to me. In their minds, these problems are opportunities.

And I say all of this, not as some way to admit my failings – none of us can do everything – rather I say it to highlight that it’s okay to ask for help and to accept it. Us men in particular are terrible at doing this. When we can’t do something, when there is a problem we can’t solve, we tend to conclude that it is a personal failure. That we are ‘less than’ because there are things we can’t do.

But this just means we’re people. Flawed and unable to do it all.

So there’s no issue at all with accepting help. Especially when you need it. Let your brother, your father, your mother, your sister, your friend carry you for awhile. Allow them in to help. Let them put chicken-wire on the gates. You’ll notice there will always be more opportunity to return the favour.